Happiness of the heart
by Fan-Ncis-Fic
Summary: Set in the 4x21, after Peter asked Alicia to renew her vows, she talked with Owen about her life.


Hey ! So, I've been thinking about it since one of my favorite episode: 4x21. Peter asked Alicia to renew their vows and she came back to home, only to find her brother, Owen and she talked with him.

A HUGE thanks to Josie for correct my story and because she's really a great person ! Thank you, again, Josie !

And thank to you Christiane for the amazing picture ! You're great too!

I don't own The Good Wife, or we won't be as stressed as we are about her choice: She'll be with Peter. And this conversation will be true!

To all my AP family, you're all so amazing, I loooove you!

Enjoy :D

Oh and I forgot : **TEAM FLORRICK FOR EVER**

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"You're missing the point, Owen. I love Peter !" she said slowly

He sighed "No you don't!"

"Stop saying that, please. You don't know how I feel. Peter is a changed man. He's not the same...I

can feel it"

"But you don't know it. You're barely with him, and when you are, it's all about his campaign"

She stood up "Listen carefully, Owen, I'm not gonna tell you this again.. I love Peter. Okay? I really do. I mean I had some troubles with trusting him but I'm done with that. He had been here for me. These last 4 years. Even when I kicked him out, he was here for me. He have always been careful, nice and sweet to me. He didn't pressured me, even when I felt he wasn't agreeing with what we were doing. Even when he was waited and needed some kind of explanation, or just a talk and I didn't let it happened, he agreed. He didn't said a word about..."

He cut her off "You thought he was a good man years ago too. And he was cheating on you...Listen, Ali, I'm your brother, I just want you to be happy..."

She nodded "I know, Owen...It's just...You never let him have a chance, even when we got married, you didn't liked him. I love him, I think I never stopped. I can't control these feelings okay? I was afraid to be hurt again, but he has paid the price, he went to jail and we all know that he stayed there because of those people who judged him."

"Okay, so even though you really love him" he head her sighed "You're tempted by Will"

She sat and seems lost "It's...It's a bad thing..."

"How do you know? You're hiding your feeling because you think it's a bad thing. But you can't control those feelings. And if you're attracted to him, it's because Peter can't attract you anymore...Let's face it, he's not the same man that you married... He's not this basket-ball team leader, he's not this bad boy you fell in love with..."

She shook her head "Yes, he isn't but it's not why I fell in love with him. I loved him because of who he was. Someone who cares about me- he's perfect as a politician and as a father. Before all this... the Scandal, he was a great husband, I was happy with him..We were happy and we were a family"

"Hey, you see! That's my point, you don't love him as a man, you love him as a politician, you love him as the father of your children and because you built your life with him. It's not love, sis, it's just about being attached..." he said gently.

"No, it's not being just me being attached. Look, Owen, I don't want to divorce him. I miss him... I really do. I thought it would be okay, to be alone. But then, there was Will and it felt like it was all a dream. I broke-up because I'm not this type of woman. I'm not the cheating type..."

He cut her again "Yeah, but he cheated on you"

She nodded "He did...But I'm not searching for a payback or a revenge. It's just wrong. For both of us. I don't care if he did it first...If I go with Will, it will be wrong. Maybe even more, because I know what feels like to be cheated on... And I don't want to put things like this on my children. I'm not gonna choose Will, because I don't love him...At least, not as I love Peter or used to love him. I like Will, I really do, he's a sweet and gentle man...But I can't imagine my future with him... When I met Peter, I used to think about what our future could be like, because I was in love with him. I feel the same now, maybe even more...Because I know how it feel to loose him...I know how hard it is to live alone, without having someone with you during the night, without having someone to talk to. Peter had always been here for me. Always listening or talking about everything, I could possible need to discuss"

"But, Alicia, you said early he had changed. What if he's not the same guy at all? I'm not saying he can be worse...It's just, what if he's not the man you love now?"he asked, really wanting to know and without any judgment at this point.

"I have changed too. Even if it's not easy at the beginning because...Well, we don't have the same habits anymore...I love him, and I know he loves me. And now I have faith in him. I know he won't cheat on me again. I know him, even if he has changed, I know him, I know who he is inside out and that's what I love with him."

"So you're not afraid of this thing with Will? I mean, you told me you were back with Peter and then you told me about your kiss with Will and..."

This time she cut him off "It was a mistake."

"But was it Alicia?"he asked not sure "Because it didn't feel like it, when you told me. You responded to his kiss so it means you wanted him... at least a part of you did... I can't blame you, though, he's damn hot and...Much younger than Peter is..."

"Oh my god" she sighed once again "I don't want someone _much younger than Peter, _I find Peter attractive too"

"How's that? Come on, Alicia, you know Will is better looking than Peter!"

She shrugged "Actually... I find them both really good looking...Will have this things...He's mysterious... so I guess that why I'm attracted to him...And Peter... Peter have this warm smile. This beautiful smile which make me feel good, secure and I love that smile and the feelings it gives me."

"Well, there's no "just" Peter's smile... Or Will's mystery..." he said mischievously "What about...Pleasure?"

Her eyes widened "What? You're joking, aren't you? I'm not gonna talk to you about my private life!"

"Oh come on, Alicia!"he begged "You know you can talk to me about everything ! And this have to be part of the 'who-you-are-going-to-choose' game!"

"There's no game about it! I'm not 'choosing' someone because I don't _love _Will and because I'm already _with_ Peter"

"Okay, I get it... Sex is better with Will, that's why you're so _offended _because you don't want to..."

"Oh shut-up ! I'm not offended and I didn't answered because I didn't feel like I have to! And for the record...Sex it's better with Peter"she said with a slightly amused smile.

"You're lying!"

"No I'm not ! Will is good too...It was amazing, really. But with Peter...It's...It's great... actually it is better than great... it's perfect."she said while she was blushing "Okay, you have your answer, can we please change the subject?"

He nodded "Okay...I'm going to act like that I am trusting you. So, you're going to say yes to Peter?"

She smiled, raised her left hand and looked at the ring "Yes, I'm going to say yes."

"You sure? You won't regret it?"he asked.

She shook her hand "No, I won't. I'll talk to him...Just to be sure we're clear, and I'll tell him my answer."

"So what if he wins, you won't move with him, right? So what you both going to do?"he asked once more

"No, I won't, he know I have my job here and he doesn't want me to drop it"

Owen seems surprised "He told you that?"

"He told me he was proud of me, of what I've done and he helped me with the partnership, so yes, I guess he did it...In his own way"she said smiling even more "So... I guess, we'll tried to make it work even with the long distance. Some couple resisted to more than 5000 km, Springfield is just at 3 hours. I can go see him when I want, and he'll be in Chicago all the time because of the meetings."

"Okay, and if he loose? Will you'll move back in with him?"

"I guess so ! I mean, we're going to renew our vows in _Hawaii _so when we'll come back we can't just be in separated houses again. It's make no sense!"

"Yeah...You right... So you're going to Hawaii just you two?"

She laughed "Hey, you asked a lot of questions!"

"I just want to make sure my sister know what she's doing!" he answered and laughed too.

"I know, what I'm doing, Owen"she said smiling, "And I think we're going just the two of us. He didn't go into details...He was so nervous and... Stressed!"

"I can imagine, so why you didn't answered when he asked?"

She shrugged "Because I needed time to think. To be honest, when he asked, I think I knew I would say yes, but I chose to wait"

"Yeeeah, and kill him because of the suspense" he said laughing

She laughed too "Yes, I admit, because of that too!"

Owen was ready to answer when Alicia's phone rang. He looked at her phone "Is it him?" Owen asked seeing the smile on his sister's face.

"Yes it is! When you talked about the man..."she said and finally answered "Hey Peter!" "...Fine and you? Okay...Is something wrong? Oh... You're welcome, I know I didn't have to...But I thought it might be useful, all I said about you is the truth so you really don't have to thank me... In the bus at 7 PM ? Okay, I get it. See you later, then. Bye"

Owen looked at her, smiling "Hot date with _MR_ Peter?"

She laughed "Well, a date for sure...Don't know if it will be hot. I think it will be romantic, typical Peter."

"Maybe it will be hot after telling him what he need to know"he said

"Yeah, well...I think I'm going with the romantic thing this time. And yeah, he'll be happy"

"He have to be! I mean, you did an amazing interview to save his ass ! And you're going with him, again! Hell, if he's not, I might kill him!"

She laughed even more "Yeah, well, I think he will be happy"

He smiled "You seems happy too, sis."

She returned his smile "Matter of fact, yes. I'm happy. After 4 years, I can say it once again: I'm happy with my life"


End file.
